March 26, 2018 | Arson attack in Berlin

As much as terrorism is often easy to analyse when you know the perpetrator and the target, sometimes it beggars understanding.

BERLIN, GERMANY — One of my favourite US satirists is Dave Barry. He wrote a syndicated humour column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005 and I used to get access to it some way or other. And every time I read his material I would laugh out loud.

A frequent trope Mr. Barry would use is “this would be a great name for a rock band” when referring to an odd turn of phrase, usually of his own making.

I did not know Dave liked golf!
Here are some examples:
  • The Cotton-Eating Moths of Australia
  • The Turkey Spiders
  • The Flaming Salmonella Units
  • Excessive Deer Doots
  • Rival Bat Dung Gatherers
  • The Fecal Pellets, and
  • The Wood Tick Snorkels

There are a lot more and you can check out his best here.

The same applies to terrorist groups. How can you beat the Moro Islamic Liberation Front or MILF (look it up if you have to)? Or the group that was behind an arson attack in Berlin on this day in 2018? And who, you may ask is that group? Why, none other than the Volcanic Group Rupture Network Domination or, maybe it sounds better in German, Vulkangruppe NetzHerrschaft zerreißen.

Come again?

Yes, the Volcanic Group Rupture Network Domination claimed an arson attack on some communications cables in Berlin which led to a power outage, but no casualties. The attack was allegedly carried out in response to Turkish military operations in Afrin, Syria.

Wait, come again?

The VGRND, if I may call them that, is apparently a left-wing anarchist group that I feel fairly certain stating no one has EVER heard of (I know I never had). Besides, what an attack on network cables in Germany has to do with Turkish moves against Kurdish forces in Syria is really beyond me. Was the cable Turkish-owned? Did it carry Turkish-language soap operas? Was the attack a show of solidarity with the Kurds? If so, why? How? Curious minds want to know.

If Dave Barry had heard of the Vulkangruppe NetzHerrschaft zerreißen, I am pretty sure he would agree it would be a GREAT name for a band!

Look, I am not condoning what Turkey is doing to the Kurds, whether it is their own population or ones across the border. I just don’t get the link. If you do, PLEASE email me and enlighten me. Inquiring minds want to know.

If Dave Barry had heard of the Vulkangruppe NetzHerrschaft zerreißen I am pretty sure he would agree it would be a GREAT name for a band!


What happened on this day in the past?

Terrorism has been around for a long time. Check out my blog Today in Terrorism and have a look at what happened on this day in the past and what it means for today.

Phil Gurski
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