Herewith, the top ten dumbest terrorists of all time:
#10 – Stockholm stupidity
On December 10, 2010 an unnamed man blew himself up in downtown Stockholm during the busy Christmas shopping season. The alleged terrorist was angry at the so-called Muhammad cartoons. He is now a dead terrorist having achieved nothing.
The scene of the second explosion on the day after the attack (Photo: By Holger.Ellgaard – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, wikimedia commons)
#9 – Holy crow
In the 2010 UK film Four Lions British Islamist extremists try to carry out an attack and succeed only in blowing up a crow wearing a suicide vest. A very funny satire.
No crows were harmed in the making of this film (Photo: Film4 Productions)
#8 – Buffalo buffoon
During the January 6, 2021 riot at the US Capitol in Washington the world saw one man front and centre: Jake Angeli. Sporting a buffalo-horned hat and decked out in the US flag he made no effort to hide his identity. For his idiocy he is now in jail.
And who, exactly, is Q? (Photo: TheUnseen011101 on flickr, Public Domain)
#7 – Canadian hoax
It is one thing to be a terrorist: it is quite another to pretend to be one. Canadian Shehroze Chaudhry lied about being an ISIS member and was charged instead with terrorism hoax. Loser!
So you think you can be a terrorist (Photo: Facebook)
#6 – These shoes were the bomb
Richard Reid will go down in history as the ‘Shoebomber‘ for trying to detonate a bomb in his sneakers. This was such a daft plan that the 2008 film Get Smart made fun of it!
Now that’s one sneaky bomb (Photo: FBI, Public Domain)
#5 – Oathbreaker
What do you do when you fail to advance in Canadian Idol? Why you plan an act of terrorism that’s what! Khurram Syed Sher, a doctor, was part of the 2010 RCMP Operation Samossa investigation and acquitted, although the judge found he “probably harboured jihadist sympathies“.
Who knew these four held so much power? (Photo: heydrienne on flickr, CC BY 2.0)
#4 – Great Scot!
You have to admire Scottish keenness to stand up for themselves a la Braveheart. When two jihadis tried to drive a car bomb in Glasgow Airport in 2007 all one got was a bad burn and a kick in the testicles from a passenger!
No one messes with the Scots! (Photo: Reiterlied on flickr, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)
#3 – The confessional
Hint to terrorists! If you are at a parole hearing do not tell the panel “If you release me from jail, I will do another terrorist attack.” This is what Rehab Dughmosh, who tried to attack a Canadian Tire in June 2017 with a golf club, a knife and an arrowless bow, actually said.
How dare someone attack these hallowed halls? (Photo: Public Domain)
#2 – Cracking under pressure
Hint to terrorists – part two! If you are planning a terrorist attack make sure people in your cell are not police agents! Although John Nuttall and Amanda Korody were found guilty by a jury of their peers of trying to detonate pressure cooker bombs on the grounds of the provincial legislature in Victoria, BC on Canada Day 2013 they were released when the judge felt they were ‘entrapped’.
Dumb terrorists, dumb judge.
We’re ready for our closeup (Photo: RCMP surveillance)
#1 – Under where?
Suicide bombing is all the rage these days. I would submit, though, that if you are keen to do this make sure it works. Placing a bomb in your underwear that does not explode immediately but slowly burns your testicles is NOT a good idea!
Congratulations Umar Farouq Abdulmuttalab for your failed Christmas Day plot back in 2009 and being named the #1 dumbest terrorist of all time!
Not the sharpest tool in the shed (Photo: US Marshals Office/EPA, Public Domain)
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